"My Secret and My Curse"

Father Bloom,

I need guidance, please hear my story. I am a married male... I have dealt with homosexual tendencies all of my life, As a teenager growing up in the 50's and 60's, it was difficult to deal with, it was always my secret, and my curse.

My "secret " remained a secret, It was always in the back of my mind, and as a result, I always had a complex, always asking my self questions, Does it show? Am I worthy? and so on, I think it has always kept me from becoming what I may of become. Anyway, it stayed mostly hidden, and recessed somewhere inside me over the years. Now all of a sudden it springs forth...my desires have surfaced, and I have had several experiences, of which I am not proud. I hate it, I try to control it, but it is difficult.

I have confessed, sexual misconduct, improper thoughts, deeds, fornication, the priest hearing my confession, always assumes it is with the opposite sex, and I never correct him. I am sincerely sorry for my sins, desire forgiveness, always do the penance, and try to do it no more. Am I wrong? Do I need to say to the priest that I am having homosexual relations? Or have I said enough? God knows what I have done, is that enough?

Thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest. God Bless and Keep you, R


Dear R,

Sorry I am slow in getting back to you. Have had some computer problems sending email. Anyway you have been in my prayers. You have both a heavy burden and a great challenge on the home front. Are you in an area which has a Courage group? You can find info and links at Courage Seattle. Altho most members are single men (and women), it does include married men. Your confessions are not invalid, but it would help greatly to find a confessor with whom you could more openly share yourself. Believe me, there are many others struggling with the same or similar problems. God does give us sufficient grace - altho he also sometimes allows us to fall so that we can learn the necessary humility - that without him we can do nothing good.

My prayers for you and your wife. Let me know how this goes.

God bless,

Fr. Phil Bloom

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